So by now, you might have noticed that you have a lot of negative talk going on. This negative self talk, the negative chatter is of course the ego, the mean girl, the inner critique, or whatever name you decide to put on it. I call mine a select choice of words that I shall not mention here, but you get the idea.

 

You might have caught your ego telling you that you aren't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, you don't have what it takes, you don't have the courage, you can`t succeed, you will fail, worrying about everything, the list goes on. All of these negative thoughts keep you stuck in a state of fear. In this state of fear, you are being held back, you are missing out on events in your life, you are playing it safe and you are stuck.

 

This negative self talk is happening on replay in your mind and has become your identity and you claim ownership and chalk it up to being you. Hold the front door, I have some news, STOP LISTENING TO THAT INNER MEAN GIRL and this isn't your identity, it is just your thoughts and you can change your thoughts if you really wanna.

 

So, let's talk about how we manage or control that inner fear based mindset that has you stuck. Let's start getting you out of that judgement, fear, comparison, negative state and get you to start loving your life, yourself and begin changing that mindset.

 

This might seem too simple to even be a strategy, but I will start by saying one word….LOVE!

 

We must choose LOVE over FEAR.

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Ok, I know what you must be thinking, “Gina, how the heck do I do this?”

 

Well, if you have done a course with me before, you have heard me talk about conditioning and I am going to speak to it again as it is so important. We all were born with a clean slate, with love pouring out of our cute little bums, we had no judgements, no hate, no jealousy, no limiting beliefs and no inner critique, all of that was taught to us and we were conditioned based on our experiences. All of this conditioning lead to living fear based lives.

 

So we didn't accidentally come to this negative thinking pattern, it was taught to us. Now, it is up to ourselves to recondition ourselves and instead of choosing fear, we choose love.

 

This comes down to a simple instant, a single encounter,  a moment and a decision.

 

In any of these encounters or before you make any decision, you have two choices. To choose love or to choose fear.

 

What do I mean by this?

 

Well, it is funny how just last night, I was at a family get together and one of my cousins got brought up and this particular person was talking negatively about her. Now in that moment (we have all been there) it is so easy to judge, to take part in the banter because it is easier rather than actually doing something about it. So in that moment, I caught myself about to say something so I wouldn`t rock the boat. But instead of acting out of fear (judgment, criticism, the ego) I choose to act out of love. I quietly and gently closed the door on my ego/inner critic/mean girl and choose to act out of love. I simply replied “______ is an awesome person and maybe you should try talking and working it out with that person, you might be surprised by the outcome”. That was all it took to change the direction of the conversation. I was happy about my choices, I felt good about redirecting and I didn't waste my energy being consumed with negativity.

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Not only that, BUT by closing the door on these conversations, people learn that you are not going to engage and they will be more inclined to stay away from those conversations. Have you ever heard the saying "We teach people how to treat us?" Well this is so true in so many capacities. 

 

You see we all have a choice and we are all the drivers of our existence and it is up to us to choose love over fear. The more we do it, the more we gain control over the ego, the more love we attract and the more we are in align with our values and therefor feel more balanced because the energy around love is different then fear.

 

So, in every moment we get to choose if we act from love or fear.

 

A good way to test your choice making is when these instants happen and you catch your ego ruling you, use that as a trigger, as a reminder to choose love.

 

So, I encourage you moment to moment to choose love over fear. To actively participate how you show up, challenge the ego, call it out and then choose to change those thoughts.

 

It will be hard at first, but like anything, practice makes progress.

 

So when you feel the ego raging, ask yourself, “am I choosing love or fear?” IF you are choosing fear, remember you can always return to love at anytime.

 

Or another question I ask myself sometimes is “what would love do?” Seems corny I know, but it works.

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These little shifts can make a HUGE difference on how we show up and how our ego can be silenced.

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