You are an empowered woman!
lesson 2: getting clear on our visions
This week we are going to get clear on our vision, solidify our vision boards, get clear about our goals and make sure we have the right tools and motivations to propel us forward. This is the week we start getting to know ourselves a little better to ensure we know what we are working with.
So, first things first. Do you have your vision board completed? If the answer is yes, FANTASTIC. But, what I want you to do is to take a look at it and go through each item on it and ask yourself "how does this goal feel to me?" If it feels good, leave it there. If it doesn`t feel right, we are going to take it off the table. You will see in your homework section a place to list your goals and want you want to work on over the next three months. By now, you also should have met with me and I would have helped you narrow them down. You will also notice in your homework section a place to write out some potential challenges and solutions.
I know goal setting is HARD and setting goals often leave us feeling overwhelmed. I don`t want you to feel this way. So, when you are setting your goals, don`t feel they have to be big goals. They can be simple goals that help improve the quality of your life. It could be meditate daily, move your body for 30 minutes each day or even wake up 10 minutes earlier.
1.) Stop setting goals for the wrong reason. Your goals have to be something that you want and not goals that are lofty and goals you set because you have to set goals. Remember our SMART goals? If not, here is a little reminder.
Saying you want more money, a new job, a new car, these are goals that will really make your life worse than better because they are so lofty and impossible to reach. Your goals should not be about the destination but rather the journey and actions you take along the way.
2.) Set goals that make you happy and put your life on a journey. Sounds corny but your goals should excite you, they should make you happy and they should be enjoyable (for the most part). Ask yourself these questions if you have trouble setting your goals.
- How do you want to spend your time?
- If money wasn`t an option, what would you do?
- What makes you happy?
- What do you want to learn?
- What gets you out of bed in the morning?
- Who do you want to surround yourself with?
Pay attention to what comes up when you ask yourself these questions because you will get a true sense of what your goals should be.
3.) Remember, your goals are not set in stone. If a goal is not working for you, you can change it. So, don`t be afraid to write it down and commit because we will be revisiting your goals regularly and we can take them off the table if they aren`t working for you.
4.) Ask yourself the ultimate question, "If I knew I would not fail, what what I go for?" THIS will give you insight in to what your goals should be.
5.) When you set your goal, listen to your internal dialogue. It is important to look at things from different perspectives but pay attention to if the ego is sneaking in there and self sabotaging your goal setting experience.
6.) Make sure you are setting goals in different areas of your life. Here is a list to help you.
- Physical Health
- Emotional Health
- Your Environment
- Social Relationships
- Romantic Relationship
- Personal Development/Self-Growth
Remember you can set goals in these different areas. It doesn`t have to be all in one place, but it is a good idea to set goals in different areas to make sure you are working on different areas.
By now, you have an idea of what your basic human needs are. These needs are the needs that fuel you, that make you YOU, that drive your motivation and make you tick.
Human needs psychology provides an answer to the age-old question, “Why do human beings do the things they do?” How is it that one person will sacrifice his own life for another, while another person will murder a stranger for sheer pleasure? What creates a Nelson Mandela or a Charles Manson?
No matter who you are in the world, or what you do there is a common force that is driving us and shaping our emotions as well as our actions. All of this determines the quality of our life, the life we live, the values we hold and of course our destinies.
HUMAN NEED is the universal force that drives us all. Regardless of our backgrounds, our experiences, our religion, our values, our race, we are all driven every day to fulfill primal needs that are built into our nervous system over centuries ago. Even though we are all unique, we are all wired in a very similar way, we all strive and find a way to meet these needs.
There are six human needs that drives each and every one of and push us forward to experience a life of meaning. There is no conscious effort needed, these needs are automatic.
The 6 basic human needs are:
1.) Certainty: Everybody wants stability surrounding their basic necessities - food, shelter, etc. When people are unable to control their physical circumstances they seek certainty through a peace of mind (religious or positive outlook.)
2.) Uncertainty or Variety: People have a need to change their state, to move their body and experience a variety of emotions. Variety can be achieved by stimuli, change of scenery, physical activity, mood swings, entertainment, food, etc.
3.) Significance: Everyone wants to feel special and important in some way. They seek significance through recognition from others.
4.) Love/Connection: Humans need to feel connected with someone or something. Connection may take the form of love or an intense engagement. These engagements are not necessarily positive, they can be in form of aggression and other types of emotions.
5.) Growth: Everything in our universe is either growing or dying.
6.) Contribution: People cannot feel fulfilled unless they are contributing to others as well.
Every person will find ways to meet these needs. These needs will be found in positive, negative or neutral ways but every person finds a way to meet them in some way. Hence, our needs drive our motivation, our motivation drives our behaviours. Understanding that our needs are part of the dance of life is crucial to achieve goals, move forward and grow.
The goal and skill here is to find ways to fill these needs using sustainable and positive strategies. By understanding the way our human needs work, we can understand our situations a little better and be able to find a rational way to make the change to meet the needs.
Take a look at the link below to find an overview of your needs. This will help you understand your actions and behaviours a little better.