As I sit here staring at the sea and reflecting on 2020 in the back of my Rav 4, I feel A LOT. It is not lost on me the hardships of this year, the challenges the world has collectively gone through (myself included) and the hardships that will linger for times to come.
BUT, a HUGE part of me is choosing to refocus and look at the things that went very right for me (I still reflect on the challenging times but more so in a way to be proud of what I have overcome and the lessons learned). This in no part downplays or states that your experience needs to be this way. You may not be in a place to do this right now or need some help with this part. Wherever you are, it is totally ok. This is only my experience and it is how I have trained myself to navigate MY challenging times. I will say I have had my challenging times in 2020, many of them in fact. I have processed, explored my feelings, went through all the steps I needed to….THEN….I turn that mess into something beautiful.
Thank you toolkit.
So here I am really looking at the things that went right and a little voice is whispering, you don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable, don’t be all positivey (not even a word, but I dig it).
Sigh, why do we do that? Why are we afraid to share our wins?
Sometimes it can be lost on people that I struggle too because I often focus on the “silver lining” per se. That doesn't mean I don’t struggle, feel, process and get frustrated. For example, here I sit staring at the ocean reflecting on my “wins” and in the last couple of days, I was in a car accident (I wasn't driving and there was no serious damage done), our basement flooded, I had to fork out copious of amounts of money for unexpected causes, I had a major life changing diagnosis, I had to step away from a career that took me years to accomplish and so much money was invested and as I type this I just spilled a thermos full of hot water and lemon all over me and Ella (not helping with the zen), and the list really could go on. I understand struggle. I do not live in unicorn land and positive away my problems AND hardships are not going to just go away.
I could easily chalk 2020 up to a crappy year but there is no way I am giving 2020 and my hardships that much power and focus.
Here is the thing. I refuse to let that be my story. Yes, shitty things happen but I will never give so much power to external circumstances to let it ruin my day or even my year. I will not say 2020 has been the worst year yet.
But the bigger question in this is why do we feel the need to hide our wins? Why have we normalized struggle and stress as a badge of honour? Why do we feel guilty when we focus on the good? Why do we feel we need to preface our wins and happy times with bad things that happen?
So, this leads me to my biggest reflection and lesson I want to bring to 2021….
I can not own other people's reactions, emotions or feelings and if sharing my wins, expressing my feelings, sharing my strategies, etc, makes others uncomfortable, I cannot own that. I cannot control how others respond, I can only control how I show up.
My struggles do not define who I am or the quality of life I live and I refuse to let it be my story.
Trust your GUT. Man this has gotten me into so much trouble when I do not listen. 2021, you bet your bottom dollar I am going to listen to that before anything else.
Just be you, Gina. The more I do this work, the more I recognize the importance of just being me. I realize I still have some old tendencies that like to creep up and staying true to me and not changing because it may make other people comfortable is a constant I continue to work on. Just be me, be authentic, be my quirky, corny self because she is pretty awesome.
Always choose courage over comfort. A Lot of things I do, the chances I take, take courage. I know I want to live in the uncomfortable because that is where I grow. So on the days I am scared and fearful, I choose courage over comfort every dang time.
Sometimes a hardship can be a blessing in disguise. Trust the process and trust that everything will work out. Combine that with intentional actions and you will always win.
I am worthy. I am enough. Plain and simple.The more I lean into this and work on this, the more clear, happy, confident and content I am.
Boundaries. It is ok to have them. Both the boundaries I put in place with myself and with others. People may not always like them, but that is ok because taking care of me is only a job I can do and that brings me back to #1.
Nature and the ocean is my thang. The more time I spend outside, the clearer, happier, inspired and empowered I am. When I need a reset, go back to nature.
With a corny eye roll, my success lies and falls with me. Only I can do the work, only I can accomplish my goals and dreams, only I can dream big and make the “impossible” happen, only I can create my future and only I can make me happy.
Ok, one more for good measure
11.) I do not need to explain my side of the story. If I lead from integrity and with love, I do not need to explain my side when it is misconstrued, misinterpreted or misrepresented. Not everyone is going to understand my intentions, what I do or what I teach and that is perfectly ok. Everything always has a way of working itself out AND the truth always surfaces. Always live with integrity. Always lead with love. Always show up and do the right thing.
While I could write so many more reflections on 2020 and lessons I want to bring into 2021, these are my top 11 that I want to focus on and lead with. That and the attitude of I can’t control the things that happen to me but I can control how I react to them.
I have no doubt 2021 will bring challenges, that is life, but I also have no doubt that I will handle them like a boss, that if I get knocked down, I will get back up, that the challenges in my future will not define me and there is so much more that I have control over than I think.
Wishing you all the best in 2021 with lots of happiness, lots of new memories, health and laughter.
I hope you are able to look back at 2020 at some things that made you smile, that made your heart happy and that you can hold close to your heart. Remember, you are stronger than you think, you can do hard things and your struggle doesn't define you.
Let's go 2021.
And if you need some guidance on navigating 2021, I am your gal. We have 7 seats left in my Say YES to You program and I would love to have you there and help you step into who you were meant to be.
Lots of love,