master your mindset
Module 3 - OWNING your mindset
I can't believe we are already on Module 3. You guys are crushing it and I love seeing the shifts you guys are already having, give yourselves a big pat on the back.
This week we are taking Mindfulness to a new level but as we go through this lesson, keep in mind the strategies we have already learned and continue tracking those negative thoughts as they come up. You will be happy to learn, that these thoughts are getting less and less and are being replaced with positive, uplifting thoughts that are not holding you back. BUT, please remember this is a process and you do need to continue these practices and it does take time.
Taking a look at who your peeps are
So this week, we are going to take a look at our surroundings and see if they are having an impact on our lives in a positive or negative way. Often times, we are totally unaware of the affect people, surroundings and situations have on us. For example, if you are working in a toxic environment every day, if you are commuting an hour to work each day and listening to the news spewing negative things, if your best friend is a negative nelly and dragging you down, I think you get the idea.
Now, you might be saying to yourself, how the heck can I work through these. This is just part of my life and I have to deal with it. I call BS on that, there are ways to make this better and I m`a gonna tell you how.
The first thing I want to talk to you about is BOUNDARIES. Boundaries are something that we all need but we all feel icky about putting in place for some reason. But before I dive into it, I will start by giving you one of the quotes I live by:
“We teach others how to treat us!”
Yup, it is true. I know this is a hard pill to swallow as it forces us to take ownership of our lives circumstances and situations but it is true and this my friends is WHY we need boundaries.
What we tolerate, what we allow, what we decide to continue to put up, what behaviours we excuse, that all comes down to us and we have to own that. How do we begin? We begin with boundaries.
A boundary defined is “ a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.”
Now, even though most of the boundaries we will be working on is in a non-physical form, they are powerful nonetheless.
So, let me start by asking you a simple question to get the ball rolling.
“Do you have people in your life that drag you down, that are negative, that don't support your goals or dreams, that make you feel bad about yourself, that make you feel stuck, that keep you playing safe? Anyone popping to mind?
By now, your ego might have popped up and you might be questioning this activity. In fact, you might even be asking yourself what the heck does this have to do with mindset? Well to put it bluntly, you are who you are surround yourself with. If you have people in your life who are negative, who don't support your dreams, who are toxic, chances are you have some of those qualities too whether you realize it or not.
I am gonna take a moment to let that set in because that is a hard one to grasp.
Ok, deep breath, let that go and turn your focus back to how are we gonna make it better and always remember that you are in control.
Remember, let`s approach this with love, not fear.
In our homework section, we are going to take a closer look at where we need to put boundaries and we are going to start making an action plan on how to do that right now. These small boundaries can make a HUGE difference in our day to day lives and can directly impact our mindset.
But before we move on to our homework, I gotta restate how important it is to have powerful, empowering, supportive people in your life. You need a support system who is encouraging you to grow, to be your best, to challenge you, to push you and to fuel your flame not douce it.
Now ask yourself, “Do I have that in my life?”
If the answer is YES, then I am soooo happy for you and you are in the perfect place to work on your mindset, to grow and set your life on fire.
If the answer is NO or I need more of it, then we gotta make that happen.
Letting go of judgement and accepting the process
Judgement is probably the number one thing that holds us back. If you think about it, we judge others, we judge the weather, we judge the driver in front of us, we judge ourselves, we judge our thoughts, we judge our friends, we judge, we judge, we judge.
You can only imagine our limited mindset could be if don`t work on this.
BUT, we weren't born judgers. We were conditioned that way. We were taught to judge. We were shown to judge and now it is part of us. But good news, we can be reconditioned.
Today, we are going to start the process of letting go some of that judgement, starting with ourselves. You see, if we can learn to be less judgemental of ourselves, of our thoughts, of our actions and everything else we judge ourselves for, that will have a trickling effect into other things in our life.
We are going to work on our mindset around judgment and refocus it so we can refocus on abundance, acceptance and trust.
Still with me?
So to put things in perspective and maybe even to make you feel better about some self-realizations you might be having, Russ Harris says 80% of our thoughts contain negative content. So exhale, breath and take comfort that every human being experiences these negative thoughts, these judgements and so forth. The cool thing about this is YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
So I want to share a strategy I use when judgement comes up and feel myself judging myself or others. It could be anything along the lines of "sigh, I really wish I could lose 10 lbs" or "I wish I was better at marketing" or "oh my goodness that driver is driving sooooo slow!" All of these are judgements.
STEP 1: I acknowledge the emotion. In this case the emotion is judgement.
STEP 2: Use language to describe the emotion as an observer. For example. Saying "The emotion that is being felt is judgement is from an observers perspective. Saying "I am judgemental"is personalizing the emotion and makes it more difficult to work through.
STEP 3: Ask yourself how can you change this emotion? Can you choose love over fear? EX. If there is a slow driver in front of me, I could choose love and compassion by reminding myself that I have no idea what the person in the car is going through. They could be driving home from the hospital after looking after a sick relative, they could be nervous on the road because they just had an accident a couple of days ago. The choice is yours to change the emotion and DECIDE how you are going to react.
STEP 4: Replace your feeling of judgement with a feeling of empowerment. EX. If I catch myself saying "Why even bother, I am not going to succeed", I can change this judgement into "I am going to try best, put forth my best efforts and see what happens. I cannot fail if I do my best."
STEP 5: Take a deep breath and let it go, remind yourself you are in control and you can release it at any point.
I call this system the "Check IN"
This might seem tedious and a little silly but it truly works. Just bringing awareness to the feelings you are actually having can help you work through them. Just remember that your thoughts are temporary and they too shall pass. Remember to respond to them and not react and you will work through them.
If you noticed above in Step 3, I used the word compassion. For some reason, compassion can be an easier emotion to harness than love. So, if you find using compassion instead of love and it helps you flip that emotion, then use it.
Stop right now and give it a shot. Are you feeling an emotion, a judgement that you want to replace? Try using compassion. If you need a little help pinpointing how to do this, here are a few examples.
Judgement: I am not good enough, I could never do that.
Compassion: If this is something I really want to try, I am going to go for it. It doesn`t matter what other people think if I am being true to myself.
Judgement: All I do is worry and worry. Why can`t I stop that.
Compassion: Worry is a feeling that I feel often but I am working through it and the more I work on it, the easier it will get.
Judgement: I hate my house, I hate my life!
Compassion: My house has so many memories that I am forever grateful for, my heart is beating, I am alive and have so much to be grateful for.
These are just some simple examples where you can guide your thinking to a more positive experience.
WARNING: Your ego is NOT going to want to let you go there. It is going to want to keep you stuck, so remember to slowly close the door on that mean girl, say thanks but no thanks and TAKE MASSIVE ACTION because action outdoes the ego.
“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.”
Ok, I know we are covering a lot here but we only have 5 short weeks together and I want to give you as much as I possibly can.
One of the things I really, really, really want to hammer home to you is that you can have whatever you want in life. I know, it seems like cliche, it seems wonky, but it is true. The thing about it all is that your mindset is going to determine if you have it or not.
What do I mean by that?
Well, let me put it to you this way, if you have a mindset of lack, you are constantly stuck in the I will never have that, I could never, then chances are, it is not gonna happen for you. But imagine changing your mindset to one of abundance, of confidence and openness? The energy around those thoughts are totally different and believe it or not it opens you up for those amazing things to come into your life.
So in case you have been doubting yourself, you have been stuck in the negative track for so long that you have forgotten.....
You are amazing, you deserve the very best and you are a MF ROCKSTAR!
Now, in our homework section, we are going to get clear on what you want in life. We are going to clear some of the negative energy that you might be having around creating abundance and see what thoughts you are thinking that are keeping you stuck.
`Cause here is a truth bomb for you, if you think you deserve amazing things or if you think you don`t, either way you are right. You see, what you actively think about, you attract. If you actively think good things are not going to happen to you, chances are they won`t. OR, they will and you won`t even be able to recognize them and you let them pass you by. The opposite is true. If you think great things are going to happen to you and you are looking for little miracles every day, you betcha you are going to approach life differently.
Abundance is reliant on two things: 1.) the energy you vibrate at 2.) and if you are ready to receive and recognize what the Universe/God (whatever you believe in) is laying out for you.
Ok, I think I have thrown enough at you today. Let`s get working and put what we are learning into practice.