The Year Of You

Module 5 - Lesson 3

Module 5 - Lesson 3


Learning Outcome:

This week, we are going to refocus on what being our true authentic self means to you. You’ll figure out what you have not accepted about yourself and why you may have blocks surrounding being your true authentic self and set some goals into place on how to let the real you shine.


What does it mean to be your true authentic self?


Sounds like an easy task right? You wake up, you do life, you go through the motions, bam that is being you. Sounds straightforward right? BUT, if you stopped and looked at your actions critically and did some self reflecting you might realize that this is not as simple as you might think and being true to who you really are is really difficult.

In fact, if you look closely you will realize that you act different with different people. Relationships are different, boundaries change and the connection and comfort you have with people varies, therefore how you act does too. This is actually quite normal. It does not mean that you are not being true authentic self, it means that you have different ways of interacting with different people. 


Here is where it gets tricky though. If you look even deeper and what drives your emotions and why you act a certain way this can actually make things a little clearer on if you are showing the real you.

When you act differently in different situations is it the real you or are you acting according to someone else`s agenda, standards and beliefs? 


In a society where social media is a huge part of our daily lives and the comparison act is so common, our actions are often driven by other people's views, opinions and thoughts. This is where our true authentic self sometimes takes the back burner and we act a certain way because of the people in our lives.

We want to be accepted,  not judged and want to live a life with as little resistance as possible which usually ends up to us being people pleasers, "going with the flow" and doing things that does not correspond with our values. 

So how exactly do we get refocused and ensure we are staying true to who we are?


One important part of discovering your true authentic self is to look at any hardships or experiences in your life that have led you to where you are today. We have done a lot of work around this area, we have dug deep and now you know why you act the way you do. Without acknowledging where we came from, our background and things we have endured, we can never fully understand why we act the way we do, our values and our beliefs.


The biggest key to finding your true authentic self is to be honest with yourself, self reflect, dig deep and listen to what you already know. Once you know what makes you tick, what makes you happy and the qualities you have, you have to own up to them and let them shine. Holding back who you are and changing your behaviour for other people keeps your true authentic self inside.

But you already know all of this. BUT, is there something that you are still holding back? Is there a piece still missing? Is there something that you haven`t dealt with or something blocking you from showing the real you?

If you are feeling overwhelmed and can`t seem to figure things out and you are still in the reflecting stage, take a deep breath and realize that these feelings are totally ok. If you are feeling this way, what I am about to share with you below will make you feel a heck of a lot better. 


Philosophy now sums up the meaning of finding and being your true authentic self pretty nicely…..


"Becoming authentic is an individual mission, since each person has their own way of being human, and consequently what is authentic will be different for each individual. Furthermore, personal authenticity is highly contextual, and depends on various social, political, religious and cultural characteristics. But the unique nature of each individual is best seen not in who he is, but in who he becomes, and becoming authentic is a continuous process, not an event. It involves not just knowing oneself, but also recognizing others and the mutual influence between individuals. If the quest for personal authenticity is just for self-fulfillment, then it is individualistic and ego-based; but if it is accompanied with the awareness of others and the wider world, then it can be a worthwhile goal."


So to sum this up, recognizing your past is great, owning the things you love is needed important but continuing to grow and learn to be a better version of yourself is where it lies. We are all different, we have different experiences and different roots. The key is to remind yourself that this is a journey.

You never going to have it perfectly figured out or feel 100 percent and that is ok. So take the pressure off, sit back, and enjoy the ride because being and showing your true authentic self is truly an amazing journey. 


“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else.” – Judy Garland


So what can we do to ensure we are on the right path to finding and being our true authentic self? The Cole`s note version?

  • Continue to grow, to learn and strive to be the best version of yourself.

  • To listen to feedback, to take criticism and look at the lessons we can learn.

  • To self reflect, reevaluate our goals and continue to move forward in a positive way that fosters what we want, our values and our beliefs.

  • Being self aware, recognizing when you are out of line with who you want to be and what goals you want to achieve.

  • Look at your past, understand yourself and why you act the way you do. If you don't like where you are, use the strategies that I have taught you and change.  

  • Ignore the naysayers and stay true to yourself.

  • Understand that your past and your worst mistakes does not define who you are.

  • Do not apologize for who you are. You are uniquely you and are perfect just the way you are.

The journey of finding out who you are is a process and does not happen over night. You will continue to grow and to change and the most important thing is to be true to yourself in every stage of life we go through. 

Remember to be gentle with yourself, to stop judging and comparing yourself and to give permission to yourself to be who you are. Do the things you love, fight for what you believe in, love who you want to love and don`t change those things because someone else might be narrow minded and not able to see the beauty you have within you. 

Check out this week`s homework below. 

"Be unapologetically YOU!"

click here
for this week`s homework